4 ways we stay stuck

Many of my clients struggle with fear, anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, and procrastination. There are many causes to these symptoms, but they often originate from living a life based on outdated beliefs, desires, goals, and roles.

We are always outgrowing the previous versions of ourselves. Who we are now is different than who we were ten years ago. When our inner world changes, we need to make changes in our outer world in order to feel aligned.

When our soul is ready for a life redesign and our ego is too afraid to change we can crumble, regress, distract, and numb in order to avoid making the changes we need to make.

Crumble

When our beliefs, values, and ideas about the world crumble we become vulnerable to a breakdown. People often experience nervous breakdowns when they are flooded with a new truth that goes against an old truth. When we are unable to process, accept, and make changes based on new information we can crumble.

Regress

Anytime we’re stressed or overwhelmed our natural inclination is to fall back on the behavioral habits, emotional strategies, and cognitive patterns of our past. We return to old assumptions, familiar roles, and tired beliefs in a desperate attempt to regain security. If we do this we stop growing.

Distract

We are surrounded with an abundance of distractions {working, television, gossip, drama, video games, internet porn, social media, shopping, to-do lists} that allow us to avoid feeling what we need to feel in order to make the changes we need to make.

Numb

We have an endless supply of ways to numb – cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sugar, prescriptions, food. If numbing actually worked we would know by now; sadly, we are more in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated than ever before. Obviously, our attempts to numb are destructive and futile.

 . . .

Rather than avoiding discomfort and resisting change, we can make a different choice.

We can redesign.

In every moment, we are provided with an opportunity to make a choice. We can do what we’ve always done or we can do something new.

Redesigning means creating a fresh map of new habits, supportive thought patterns, aligned beliefs, and goals with soul.

It’s about consciously reflecting on what no longer fits.

  • What have you outgrown?
  • What are you pretending not to know?
  • Which parts of your life feel too small?
  • What do you want now, that you didn’t want then?
  • What did you want then, that you don’t want now?

At the deepest level you know what you want and you know what to do in order to live the life you want to live.

Seek the truth, be brave, and take action.

I’m not saying it will be easy {though, it might be}. I’m saying you don’t have to crumble, regress, distract, numb or hit rock bottom before you start to live a more authentic life.

You can keep your inner world and your outer world aligned by returning to these questions, calling on courage, cultivating consciousness, and trusting yourself to design a life that matters based on who you are now.

Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the past, what is predictable and familiar often feels comfortable. But, the comfort you are holding onto from the past may be pushing away the great life that is waiting for you in the future.

The more you are willing to consciously examine your life, the more you will be able to design a life you love.