on anxiety & authentic growth

gem-present

I’ve experienced a few transformative times in my life and have just edged through another one. I’m so freshly on the other side that sometimes I can still feel the discomfort of it.

During this most recent and particularly challenging transformation, I have spent many hours venturing within. And, I haven’t always been as courageous as I would have liked.

Too often my mantra was “If in fear, doubt, or overwhelm, administer chocolate.” It’s a 25-year-old defense that is reluctant to leave me.

Here’s what I learned during my most recent inner adventure:

I know that if I step into the more truthful version of my life, anxiety will be my travelling companion. And if I do not, then depression will be. Though I would prefer to have neither, I know that the anxiety will wane while the depression will not.

Moving into an unfamiliar world creates anxiety, as it should. I will be best served by learning how to tolerate anxiety and sit in uncertainty – rather than choosing the more comfortable path.

Anxiety has the potential to keep me on my growing edge, whereas depression will sedate me into stagnation.

There are the times when I question whether my desire for growth is selfish and self-indulgent. But there is a deep truth within me that knows it is my duty to myself, those in my life, and the world to show up as my best possible self and live my fullest, truest life.

Truth & love,

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