6 books that could deepen how you heal

Over the past twenty years, I have been on an epic journey of exploring how to heal the mind, body and spirit.

In the past, there was a desperation in my search — a longing for more answers, craving higher credentials, impatiently gathering better tools.

I was compulsively searching. I wanted to know more, to be better, to have enough. This pattern was is service of love, but it was driven by fear.

This pattern is coming to a close.

To honor the ending, I will commit to Love, in all her forms.

I’m crafting a ceremony with a Wisdom Keeper to integrate where I’ve been so I can deepen into where I am going.

This is an ending. And, a beginning.

Here are six books I have gathered along the way — may they help you end what needs to end so you can begin what you are ready to begin.

jpegDying To Be Me

“Being myself allows the wholeness of my unique magnificence to draw me in those directions most beneficial to me and to all others. This is really the only thing I have to do. And within that framework, everything that is truly mine comes into my life effortlessly, in the most magical and unexpected ways imaginable, demonstrating every day the power and love of who I truly am.”


“I actually detest the word happiness which is so overused that it has become almost meaningless. It is an unworkable term for science or for any political goal such as education, therapy, public policy, or just changing your personal life.”



jpegJust One Thing

“Try seeing good intentions in strangers walking down the street—or an airport. You’ll see lots of courtesies, efforts to do a good job, desires to understand or be understood, loyalty to friends and causes, fair play, and kindnesses. This practice makes me happy, and gives me a stronger sense of our common humanity.”


jpegBroken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.”



jpegFeeling Good

“After all, this is how you learned how to walk. You didn’t just jump up from your crib one day and waltz gracefully across the room. You stumbled and fell on your face and got up and tried again. At what age are you suddenly expected to know everything and never make any more mistakes? If you can love and respect yourself in failure, worlds of adventure and new experiences will open up before you, and your fears will vanish.”

jpegThe Shadow Effect

“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.”

Part one :: classic books for deepening how you live, heal, create & love

Part two :: 6 books that could deepen how you heal

Coming up ::

7 books that could deepen how you create
10 books that could deepen how you love

To endings & beginnings.


10 books that could deepen how you live

The allure of curling up under a tree with a good book is especially compelling during the summertime.

Enter… a roundup of ten books that could deepen how you live.

This is part two of a five part post on books that have changed how I live, heal, create and love.

Life is a Verb: 37 Days tjpego Wake Up, Be Mindful and Live Intentionally
“Instead of a book, what if we’re actually writing (or not writing) in the margins of our lives? What if our lives are books? What is the sign of our presence? Are we pressing into the margins our interpretations and questions?”
jpeg-1Radical Acceptance
“For many of us, feelings of deficiency are right around the corner. It doesn’t take much–just hearing of someone else’s accomplishments, being criticized, getting into an argument, making a mistake at work–to make us feel that we are not okay. Beginning to understand how our lives have become ensnared in this trance of unworthiness is our first step toward reconnecting with who we really are and what it means to live fully.”
jpegTotal Freedom
“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.”



jpeg-2A Path With Heart
“When the stories of our life no longer bind us, we discover within them something greater. We discover that within the very limitations of form, of our maleness and femaleness, of our parenthood and our childhood, of gravity on the earth and the changing of the seasons, is the freedom and harmony we have sought for so long.”
jpegFeeding Your Demons
“As I cooked in the cauldron of motherhood, the incredible love I felt for my children opened my heart and brought me a much greater understanding of universal love. It made me understand the suffering of the world much more deeply.”




jpegUnfolding Now
“The more we are able to contact the actual presence that we are, the less we are alienated in a superficial or externally defined identity. The more we know the truth of who we are, the more we can be authentic and spontaneous, rather than merely living through concepts of ourselves.”
jpegReflections on the Art of Living
“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”




Living Beautifully With Uncertainty And Change
“The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes. ”
jpegPower And Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change
“You have to deliberately practice both: power and love, power and love, like walking with your left foot and then your right, over and over. Most business and political systems are characterized by an excess of power over love. There is too much fragmentation. So your first moves have to be love moves, to foster mutual connection and awareness.”
Flow: The Psychology of Ultimate Experience
“To overcome the anxieties and depressions of contemporary life, individuals must become independent of the social environment to the degree that they no longer respond exclusively in terms of its rewards and punishments. To achieve such autonomy, a person has to learn to provide rewards to herself. She has to develop the ability to find enjoyment and purpose regardless of external circumstances.”


Part one :: classic books for deepening how you live, heal, create & love

Coming up ::

6 books that could deepen how you heal
7 books that could deepen how you create
10 books that could deepen how you love

For the love of books.




classic books for deepening how you live, heal, create & love

If you’ve been to my office, you know I have a thing for books.

Some may call it an addiction, I prefer to call it a passionate love story — complete with illumination, complication, longing, confusion, belonging, clarity, desire and, of course, love.

There are many classic inspirational books that have guided my life and filled my heart.

There are some less well-known but equally nourishing books in my collection. I’ve picked my favorite books for living, healing, creating and loving and I’m going to share them with you in this five-part series.

May this series of posts add depth to how you live, heal, create & love.

The Classics

jpeg-1The Alchemist

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.” Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”


jpegThe Artist’s Way

“No matter what your age or your life path, whether making art is your career or your hobby or your dream, it is not too late or too egotistical or too selfish or too silly to work on your creativity.” 


jpegWomen, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

“To discover what you really believe, pay attention to the way you act — and to what you do when things don’t go the way you think they should. Pay attention to what you value. Pay attention to how and on what you spend your time. Your money. And pay attention to the way you eat.”


jpegThe Gifts of Imperfection

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” 


jpegWomen Who Run With the Wolves

“Love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship.” 


jpegA Course In Miracles

“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all encompassing can have no opposite.”


jpegThe Power of Now

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego.”


jpegGood to Great

“When [what you are deeply passionate about, what you can be best in the world at and what drives your economic engine] come together, not only does your work move toward greatness, but so does your life. For, in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life.”


jpegThe Book of Awakening

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time. When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.”


jpegMan’s Search for Meaning

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized.”

jpegRumi is still always personal favorite.

“Soul, if you want to learn secrets,

your heart must forget about 
 and dignity. 
You are God’s lover,

yet you worry 
what people 
are saying.”

jpegThe Five Love Languages

“Real love” – “This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”


Coming up — the less-well known books that grace my shelf ::

10 books that could deepen how you live
6 books that could deepen how you heal
7 books that could deepen how you create
10 books that could deepen how you love

When it comes to books, I could go on and on {which is why I’ve limited myself to five posts}, but I’d rather hear from you.

Which books nourish your soul and guide your life?


the truth about self-examination

Self-examination does not necessarily lead to life balance or acceptance from others — it leads to greater freedom and authenticity.

Without self-examination …

… we seek comfort over greatness
… safety over risk
… reassurance over authenticity
… the predictable over the unknown
… the well worn path over forging our own

Self-examination is a process of reframing and refining how we see ourselves and the world. It’s a deep dive into our beliefs, motives, relationships, triggers, wounds, purpose, feelings, thoughts and action.

Often we uncover something has to change so we can feel a greater sense of alignment between the life we are living and the life our soul wants to be living.

You may be called to change a relationship, a career or a habit.

You may need to stop doing something or start doing something.

Self-expression may be calling your name as you venture into exploring your creativity — learning to sing, paint, dance.

You may be called find a mantra, explore a good book, or commune with nature.

You may start a non-profit, go on an adventure, or start a blog.

When we choose self-examination, we are choosing to be in a conscious relationship with our soul.

Once you uncover the direction your soul wants to move in there is a process of allowing what is no longer authentic to end and creating space for what is currently authentic to begin {yes, authenticity is a moving target}.

As we migrate closer to the soul, we must trust that we will survive the time between the old world dying and the new world being born.

It can be a precarious transition — it’s often accompanied by loneliness, confusion and grief.

It is tempting to revive the old world, but if we are patient and continue to connect to the world we want to belong to, it will emerge.

One small step towards the life you want to be living is what will move you from where you are to where you want to be.

One small step.

It is the only way to find your way home.

the trap of conditional love

These days I’m thinking a lot about the conditions we put on love.

When my boys hug each other, I smile and offer a loving gaze. When they are less kind {hitting} my smile and loving gaze quickly disappear — I withdraw the visual expression of my love.

My boys quickly adapt to receive more love – I’m okay with that for the whole hitting and hugging thing – but I am hyper-aware of the dangers of too much adaptation and too many conditions put on love.

If we place too many conditions on love we risk causing the subject of our love to abandon their true self and replace it with a false version.

Conditional love and the adaptations we make in order to get love is how we lose ourselves. It happens to our children, and it happens to us as adults.

When the true self is repressed and the false self is expressed we struggle and suffer. I don’t want that for my boys and I don’t want that for you.

Where in your life are you putting too many conditions on your love?
Where in your life are you losing yourself in order to be loved?

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