My Valentine’s Day post is a day late…I have a good excuse: self-love. I wanted to spend the day with my family yesterday so I didn’t get this blog post up in time. In the past, I would have ignored what I really wanted to do and I would have done what I thought I “should” do. It took me four years of practicing self-love to get rid of that destructive habit. Now that it’s gone, I rarely do what I “should” do, so I hope you’ll forgive the tardiness of this post 🙂
This Valentine’s Day made me think of two things: love and chocolate. These thoughts got me thinking about weight loss and I soon began reflecting upon how I lost 70lbs.
I am a recovering emotional eater with a nasty sugar addiction.
I tried every diet I encountered and purchased at least a dozen different diet pills. I hired nutritionists, dietitians, and personal trainers. I took healthy cooking classes and have an impressive collection of healthy cookbooks. I blamed my thyroid, my metabolism, and cursed my genes. I embraced an eating disorder and then struggled tirelessly against it.
At the peak of my food addiction I was 230 lbs. It really sucked! Here was the big revelation for me. It wasn’t the weight that sucked; it was the self-loathing. For me, the vicious cycles of self-loathing chased me into the arms of my two best friends, Ben & Jerry (chunky monkey to be exact). More self-loathing would soon follow. And somehow I managed to convince myself that a pint of ice cream ruined my night so I might as well eat a pizza.
The problem was not that I didn’t know how to eat. I knew what I was supposed to be doing. The problem was that I lacked self-love. At the time, a friend asked, “do you love yourself” and I answered “sure”. A few hours later, after a 2000-calorie binge, the nastiness running through my mind was certainly not loving.
Here’s the secret that took me fifteen years to learn. My relationship to food was a direct reflection of the relationship I had with myself.
I knew I had to develop my self-love skills, but I had no idea where to start. I asked my love-voice how I could develop my self-love skills? This was the message I got.
“Forgive yourself. Wipe your slate clean. Stop punishing yourself and start loving yourself.As long as you continue to beat yourself up you will continue to struggle with your weight.”
Things didn’t change right away, but as I moved closer to self-love, I had more energy, more health, and less baggage to lug around.
Just in case you’re interested in developing your-self love skills, stay tuned. I have some amazing ideas coming your way. These are the tips and tricks that have worked for me, and the ones I often use with my client.